Thursday, June 16, 2011

A Lot Like Love

Is it strange that everytime I come back home from Lucknow, I feel homesick? That I replay the arrival scenes and everything that follows over and over again in my head, yet when I reach the time of departure, my mind recoils from the memory? That no matter how much time I spend sniggering and bickering with my family, I know in my gut it is never going to be enough? This, in a nutshell, sums up the joys and sorrows of belonging to the kind of people that I, well, belong to.
I know there are happy families everywhere. I also know of that sage saying that happiness everywhere is the same, it is pain that varies individually. Yet, for the life of me, I cannot bring myself to believe that our happiness is not singular or distinctive or incomparable. How I can't stop smiling, so much so that my jaws hurt, whenever I'm in the vicinity of the people I love so much has to account for something, doesn't it? Or the fact that our hugs are like boomerangs, they keep coming back to us, certainly bears some testimony to the immense recess of powerful sentiment from which we keep drawing buckets-full of adoration for each other.
There's so much history we have experienced, so many common threads of stories woven around the many years of shared existence. While everything else around me is getting hazier by the day, these long-forgotten trivial affairs cling to my poor heart with all their might. Remember Swati, that oh-so-fiery dinner in Faizabad a million years ago; and our fascination with Santa Claus and Christmas; the numerous card games during summer afternoons; somu's teeth and mintal's hair; rishu's laughter and vasu's golden freckles; bhai's drooling on the pillow and kaku da's break dance; didu's endless instructions and your endearing silence? Any amount of new memories I make wouldn't be able to compete with these absolute first ones, simply because my heart is full.
I remember when bhabh called me to wish me birthday for the first time. I had never felt so important in my whole life. The way I feel around you bhabh, I'm sure aapse kuch purana hai zaroor. And now there is the newest addition to the numbers - I look forward to making the same memories with you boudi.

I'm in my happy place now.