Sunday, September 6, 2009

I didn't know..

Something happened today. An extraordinary example of life's unkindness. A friend is at the receiving end of life's wrath. And that reminded me of the time when I was in the same place. No details- that would make this post too unpleasant and too personal. I'd only reveal this much that I lost a close friend to death and a myriad other things happened to make me lose faith in happiness altogether. And today was like all that choking feeling coming back over me as I saw through a looking-glass. Here's something that I wrote in the wake of my memory of the past and my sensibility of the present.
I didn't know then, that people staring at me were simply trying to understand the fear my eyes betrayed.
I didn't know then, that wisdom was the opposite of love.
I didn't know then, that the last time with him was a test, and I was asking myself whether I had passed it or failed..
I didn't know then, that I would never know.
I didn't know then, that it was possible to love people for the reassuring incandescence of their smiles alone.
I didn't know then, that all my strength was going to be born in those moments.
I didn't know then, that the world would enfold my life within its nightmares- gently but completely.
I didn't know then, that to forget, all I had to do was close my eyes.
I didn't know then, that sorrow could be like a span of night sky.
I didn't know then, that it was impossible to shun someone you truly loved.
I didn't know then, that I was drowning in a sorrow that had no stars, no laughter and no sleep.
I didn't know then, that happiness comes back again, like persistent waves of a glittering sea.


  1. Beautifully written, my friend. :) (As always, if I may add.)

    And despite the toughness of life, I love the last line that you've written. I'm going to believe in that powerful line more often... :)

  2. hey excellent post again my friend.. its really a hard thing to lose a close one.. and a friend's loss is like a broken glass tat cant come agin.. sorry 4tat...

    and u wrote brilliant

  3. @Sumit
    such praise :)
    i adore you, thank you!

  4. @SiMbA tAgO (wats this name yaa?)
    thank you. yeah- it was tough to cope with.
    such is life.
    thanx again.

  5. Mystish, you deserve this praise, and more. :)

    Btw, you're adorable too.

    P.S. The last line of your post is now my status message on FB. B-)

  6. @Sumit
    there couldn't possibly be a better compliment to this post yaa!!
    senti kar diya jee bilkul :D
    a big bear hug

  7. *grins and returns the bear hug. :)

    Btw, I can think of numerous better compliments for this post, and even better ones for the writer.

    I've become an even bigger fan of yours after reading this. (And mind you, that's not because I was gorging on chocolate icecream while reading. :P)

  8. Sorry for the tough time that you ahve had. Hope ypur friend is out of it all soon.

    The poem was nothing short of brilliant. It captured the essence of a soul enlightened by its sufferings perfectly.

    And wisdom is the opposite of love - WOW. That's sooo true. I'm gonna be quoting this line, a lot. :D


  9. @Isha
    thanx for the kind words. i hope so too..

  10. mia

    u have been tagged

    dear ... check my posts... and enjoy

  11. I've begun to come to this place for inspiration.

    Wisdom may not be the opposite of love, but it is born out of heartbreak.

    And I try to believe in the last line.

    Hugs :)

  12. @Arslan
    You've made me very very happy, thank you.
    About whether wisdom is, in fact, the opposite of love.. I think it is yaa.. Love survives in us precisely because it isn't wise, no? :)
    Hope you having fun in Sweden- making your own food and all, huh!
    Looking forward to more "Postcards from Europe".

  13. @Arslan
    and oh! how do you say your name.. I do it in a certain way but I think it might be wrong :)
    do tell k..

  14. @mystish: And how do I do that? Ok, first you tell me how you pronounce my name and I'll tell you if it's right. :)

    And how come I don't even get to know your name? Not fair yaa! :P

  15. Actually, good question posed by Mystish. Arslan,is it similar to the name of the lion in the Chronicles of Narnia? :)

  16. @Arslan
    very smart! I say- urs(like in ursula)-luhn.. which sounds very exotic and very incorrect to me, strangely at the same time :)
    now you tell me if it is correct!

    p.s. my name you want to know?! vatsala :)

  17. Wisdom is the opposite of love. I could not have said it better.

    Hope all gets okay soon. Hugs.

  18. @mystish/vatsala/Sumit: Ok, the first part is bang on. Surprisingly, I never thought about it that way! and for the second syllable, try saying 'lan' as in 'lahn'.

    So there. Now you don't have to go "Vat-saala didn't reply to my comment.."! :P

  19. @Absolutely Normal Chaos
    Thanks. Hopefully, 'this too shall pass'.

  20. i liked it too much...i was asked to read it..and gosh i fell for it.

    too gud!!

  21. Sis this post is etched deep in my heart!
    love ya!

  22. vat..each line u wrote was beautiful and it also got me thinking why the most beautiful expresions emerge from the most trying times.
    sorry for ur loss.